Dear Blog Spammers

Dear Blog Spammers,

You know who you are. The ones who keep posting advertisements for your services, thinly disguised as “comments.” You promise me riches beyond my wildest imaginations, and everlasting fame.

You know what? My imaginations are pretty damn wild, and none of them include you. Fame? I’m not looking for it, and that’s not the point of this blog. Hell, I don’t even avail myself of the advertising services I already know about, and the fact that I don’t should tell you something. There are already too many commercials on the web, and I’m not going to add to them.

That’s why you don’t see any pop-ups on my blog or website: I don’t like it when I go to someone’s page and get bombarded by advertisements and various other popups, and I’m not about to inflict them on my readers.

Let me explain how your advertisements work on my pages:

  1. You post your ad in a comment.
  2. I get an email notice advising me to moderate your comment. Yes, I have chosen the option of moderating all comments before they appear on the page.
  3. Irritated because I know your comment is spam even before I look at it, I open my blog’s dashboard and read your “comment.”
  4. Seeing that it’s only a sales pitch and not a real comment, I move it to the trash.

So not only has your advertising campaign been a waste of time for both of us, you have also alienated a potential customer for your services

Look, I’ve been on the Internet since before it was even called that. I’ve taught classes in HTML, CSS, email, and just about everything else associated with the Web. I’d even go so far as to say I’ve been at this a lot longer than you have.

That’s not to brag, but rather to make a point: I KNOW all about search-engine optimization. I’m aware of all the scams masquerading as “services.” If I wanted to increase my readership, I know how to do it.

When I started this blog, I promised my readers that I wouldn’t harvest their email addresses for commercial use. There’s already too much of that going on elsewhere. It pisses me off, and I know it pisses off a lot of other people. So I don’t do it. I don’t even maintain a mailing list. People are free to come and go as they please. They know my blog is here, and they can come read it when they choose, nit when I want them to. Hell, I can’t even remember if I’ve activated an RSS feed here or not.

The same thing goes for ads. Yes, I could probably generate some small income by putting targeted ads on my pages, and it might even be enough to cover the monthly fee I pay to have this blog hosted.
But that would mean I’d have to give up something: my integrity. A promise is a promise.

So my point to all of this is that whatever services you’re offering, I DON’T WANT! Stop wasting your time–and more importantly, MINE–in trying to sell me stuff I don’t want.

Hmm…I just had an idea: maybe I WILL start harvesting email addresses of those of you who spam me with ads, and then sell them to the get-rich-quick folks in Nigeria. You’re definitely made for each other. You certainly deserve each other!

Robyn Jane

Former two-year-old who stll wishes she could get her own way by throwing temper tantrums, Robyn lives with her demons and dragons in the urban wilderness known as Rochester, NY. She seeks to maintain her grip on reality by blogging as therapy.

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