The latest battle in the war being waged against gays, lesbians, trans folk and other gender-variant people is being fought in the name of Jesus. The fact that so many states in the Bible Belt are passing laws which make it legal to discriminate and practice other forms of hatred in the name of religious expression made me think that the good Christians living in these states will be the first to line up to kill Christ again if he ever does return.
But the more I thought about it, the more I began to understand that they are already killing him.
Consider the following exchange between Jesus and his disciples:
“When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
“Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’
“Then He will also say to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was hungry and you gave Me no food; I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink; I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me.’
“Then they also will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” –Matthew 25:31-46, NKJV
I suppose if there were one single thing that has turned me off to religion it is the yawning chasm between what their scriptures say and the behavior of their adherents. I don’t think they realize just how badly it reflects on their religion as a whole, or specifically, its credibility. Before you go bragging about your religion’s power to change the world for the better, don’t you think you should demonstrate that power in your own life?
Corey Booker, the mayor of Newark, New Jersey, put it this way:
“My simple point is that I judge a person’s faith by how they live their life, not by the tenets of their religion. I’ve watched the holiest of people walk past somebody in need or treat their staff mean. To me, the beauty of faith is only seen when people live it consistently or struggle to do so.”
The fact that so few people live their lives in accordance with the tenets of their faiths tells me that they don’t really believe them. And so why should I? Don’t try to convert me to your religion, or to accept the existence of an all-powerful god when your own words and actions tell me that you yourself don’t believe one exists.
The Gay Agenda, or, Fear And Loathing in The House of God
The “Gay Agenda” is a phrase religious leaders love to use as a rallying cry for their followers. According to their theory, first postulated back in the ‘70s by Anita Bryant, the fact that gays don’t have children means that we have to convert others to our way of life. Sorry, Anita; we don’t try to convert anyone. You’re thinking of The Jehovah’s Witnesses.
But it is true: there is indeed a “gay agenda.” I was unaware of this fact, but I just got my copy in this morning’s mail. I know it’s accurate, because it was sent by the Head Homosexual himself. I am reproducing it below in its entirety:
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of “homo breeding gulags” where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the Internet and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)?
But please! Remember that this is a joke! I almost didn’t post it for fear that someone would take it seriously. After all, truly fundamentalist believers are not noted for their refined senses of humor.
And if you’re wondering about my own gay agenda, here it is:
Get out of bed
Wrack my brains trying to come up with a topic for today’s post
Wonder for the umpteenth time if being queer is the same as being gay or lesbian and, if so, which one am I?
And that’s pretty much it, with daily variations.
The Atheism Agenda
Can we talk? Come a little closer. Are we alone? Good! I’m going to let you in on the dirty little truth about The Atheism Agenda: It doesn’t exist!
Lisa R. Petty does a much job of explaining the whole thing in her wonderful article at Huffington Post, entitled (appropriately enough) The Atheist Agenda. If you’re interested in why it doesn’t exist, I recommend reading her article.
It Ain’t Just Queers That Have to Worry
Several legal experts who have analyzed some of these “right to discriminate” laws are already warning that they form the basis of allowing people to refuse to perform interracial marriages. Conceivably, since the bible condemns left-handedness, they could also be construed as prohibiting left-handed people from getting married, or adopting children.
Finally, This Is What It Comes Down To For Me
Thanks a lot, all-loving god.